The Balancing Act of Parenting

Back to my parenting nuggets this time.

I was reading the book "Raising Godly Kids" for quite some time now, but still haven't finished due to book-backlogs (some book needs to be prioritized that's why this one was set aside for a while ) But I started reading this book again and this particular topic caught my attention..and I want to share this to you as well, so read on :)

The Balancing Act of Parenting
by: Harold J. Sala

A young mother yelled at her child, "Be quiet!" A look at the child--barely a year old--told me that the child was sick. The mother's nerves were on edge. Her older children had colds too. But the little child couldn't turn off the tears any more readily than I could sing in Swedish or grow hair on the top of my head now that it has disappeared. What the child did understand though, was the tone of voice-the message was negative, very negative.

I didn't say anything, but I began to reflect on the fact that parenting is constant struggle to maintain balance.

Observation 1: The wise parent has to balance expectations with abilities.
Obviously, the ability of the sick child to stop crying was beyond the mother's expectations. It was impossible, period. Punishing a child for what he is incapable of doing is not only wrong but also counterproductive. The fact is every child is different. Just because an older child can do something doesn't necessarily mean that another child can do the same task at the same age.

Observation 2: The wise parent has to balance love and discipline.
You can discipline a child without love but you cannot love a child without discipline. Disciplining is one way of saying, "I love you too much to let you get away with this (talking back to me, throwing your food all over the table, sticking your tongue out at the teacher)" Does the bible make a case for discipline? Yes, a strong one. Does it make us strong a case for loving your child? Absolutely. Both are important and both must be balanced.

Observation 3: The wise parent has to balance protecting a child from hard knocks and letting him experience the consequences of his actions.
This especially applies to older children. Do you lie for your teenager to protect him, or let him face the court when he's been drinking?I'm convinced that parents do their child a disservice when they fail to help him understand that with every choice there are consequences, sometimes tough one.

Observation 4: Successful parenting has to balance turning loose with holding on.
Two mistakes of parenting are being overly strict and being overly permissive. Turn a child loose too soon, give him too much independence, and he will get into trouble. But hold on to the youngster for too long and he's certain to become angry and rebellious.

Insight:
"Parenting is bringing out the best in our children without condemning them for what they cannot do or making them feel inadequate when they fail to meet our expectations."


Saturday, October 11, 2008 | Labels: |

 

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