I got this article from Home & lifestyle magazine, July 2006 Issue. I found it helpful so I thought of sharing it here. This is written by Dr. Felicitas Artiaga-Soriano.
When we talk about parental influence, the greater and silent part of it is exerted by parental modeling. Without meaning to, parents teach children in many ways just by example they set. If there is a master key to teaching children, this would be it. Parental actions carry more weight than words, particularly if parents do not do what they say (Parenting: A Special Job for Ordinary People)
According to Laurence Steinberg, psychologist of Temple University, good parenting is that which fosters psychological adjustment – elements like honesty, empathy, self-reliance, kindles, cooperation , self-control and cheerfulness; helps children succeed in school; promotes the development of intellectual curiosity, motivation to learn and desire to achieve and deters children from anti-social behavior, delinquency, and drug and alcohol use; and helps protect children against the development of anxiety, depression, eating disorders and other types of psychological distress.
Here are 10 principles of good parenting according to Steinberg:
- What you do matters. Your kids are watching you. Don’t just react on the spur of the moment. Think “what do I want to accomplish, and is this likely to produce result?”
- Show your love. You cannot be too loving. Everyday, tell your children how much you love them. Give lots of hugs and kisses. It is simply not possible to spoil a child with love. What we often think of as the product of spoiling a child is never result of showing a child too much love. It is usually the consequence of giving child things in place of love – like leniency, lowered expectations, or material possessions.
- Be involved in your child’s life. Being an involved parent takes time, hard work, and means rethinking and rearranging your priorities, It frequently means sacrificing what you want to do for what your child needs to do. Be there mentally as well as physically.
- Adapt your parenting to fit your child. Keep pace with your child’s development. Consider how age affects the child’s behavior.
- Establish and set rules. The rules your child has learned from you are going to shape the rules he applies to himself. If you don’t manage your child’s behaviour when he us young, he will have a hard time learning how to manage himself when he gets older, especially when you’re not around. At any time, you should always be able to answer these: Where is my child? Who is with my child? What is my child doing?Provide order in your child’s life. Keep a regular schedule of meal, naps and bedtimes. If you have to change the schedule, tell your child about the changes ahead of time. However, you cannot micromanage your child. Once he or she is in middle school, you need to let the child do his or her own homework and make his own choices.