MQW6 - Meeting the Challenge of Motherhood

Nice's question of the week goes…

What adjustments did you make in your life to fit the role of a mother? Can you share some tips to make your tasks easier?
Here's my thoughts on this question:

Before I became a mother, I was already taught and oriented on what to expect about parenting. But along the way, I never knew that it’s not going to be that easy. A real experience is quite different from stories.

When I became a mother I had to do a lot of adjustments. I became more careful about the things I say or do…the environment that my baby is into and the people around us. I learned how to stretch my patience…how to prioritize…how to budget…I became interested in things that will make me become a more responsible and good mother, reading different books and articles, searching for parenting guidelines, etc. I started to like things about motherhood and parenting. I thought less of my self and more about my family.

Of course, everyday we learn new things. Just by reading articles in book or the internet, or hearing stories from different mothers or parents, nuggets on parenting can be learned. But of course not everything is appropriate to us so we can just pick those that are fitting to our way of living and parenting style.

Here are some of the things I’ve learned:

  1. Don’t go with the flow. Be practical. Not because everybody is raving about something, it’s the best. Not because everybody is using it nor have it you should also have it. I mean, if you can afford it then get it. But you must study first if it’s necessary or just a waste of money.
  2. Like Nice, I learned to become Reasonable. Sometimes I feel guilty that I am a working mom. I feel guilty of leaving my baby to the care of a nanny but looking into the benefits of my present work, I’m having second thought of giving it up knowing that my salary also contributes to our finances. Maybe if we are confident enough that hubby’s salary can sustain us, I’ll won’t have any more second thought and be a SAHM or maybe a WAHM
  3. Stay connected. Because I am a working mom, I find it helpful to have a daily phone call to my baby and her nanny. It’s my way to find out how my baby's doing and a good way to stay connected to her. It eases the pressure of work loads when I’m able to talk to her and at the same time, my baby is assured that I am still with her even though I’m at work.
  4. Be there. Don’t let your children become “emotional orphans.” It is possible to be home a lot and not really be there. Children won’t remember how clean the floor was, but they will remember the quality time that you spent with them. That’s why I always see to it that when I’m at home, I play with my daughter, feed and bathe her, listen and communicate and pay attention when she’s talking to me
  5. Get organized and be consistent. Decide what NOT to do, when you tend to overdo. I have been doing this when I was still single and now that I got more responsibilities I find this very helpful specially that hubby's away and I'm temporarily running the household alone. I make a daily to-do list dividing it into tasks for work and tasks for home. I write in a notebook and also put it on my phone calendar. That way I am able to identify what I need to do, what can wait — and what I can skip entirely. I also created a weekly meal plan and a daily activity plan for my baby and her nanny to do everyday. I may not able to personally do this with her but through this I’m able to identify what they are doing even if I’m not around.
  6. Have a time for yourself. Don’t feel guilty to relax when necessary. We need it. Having a time for ourselves also help us think reasonably.
  7. Get help. Let’s admit that we want to be the best mom in the world but we are not a SUPERMOM! As for me, when I’m uncertain about something, I asked my mom or my sisters. When I am having a hard time with my daughter, I tell my husband what I feel. When I’m sad or overwhelmed confuse or bothered by something, I always seek help.
Above all, maintain a positive attitude. We, as a mother, should work on being confident about who we are and what we want. Know that we are a living example and that we are the most important person and role-model in our children’s world. We are the one whom they look up to, imitate, and follow.


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